A wife is scrambling eggs when her husband bursts into the...
Share itScrambling Eggs
A wife is scrambling eggs when her husband bursts into the kitchen.
"Careful," he cries, "Careful! You are cooking too many at once. Too many! Scramble them! Now! We need more butter. They're going to stick! Careful! Now scramble them again! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!
The wife turns and asks, "What is wrong with you?"
Her husband calmly replies, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
After sailing across the Atlantic, my family an I arrived in France.Wanting...
Conversation
After sailing across the Atlantic, my family an I arrived in France.
Wanting directions and sorely in need of conversation, my father stopped a passerby and asked if he spoke English.
Sizing up my hevelled father, the man warily responses, "Sometimes."
In the frozen foods section of my local supermarket, I observed a man...
Shopping List
In the frozen foods section of my local supermarket, I observed a man shopping with his young son.
As I walked by, he crossed something off his list at random and whispered conspiratorially to his son, "You know, if we really mess this up we'll never have to do it again."
Says the doctor to the patient after the physical examination: "You know,...
The Right Moment
Says the doctor to the patient after the physical examination: "You know, you came to me at just the right moment."
"Oh no!" says the patient. "Is it that serious, doctor?"
"Quite the opposite," replies the doctor. "One more day, and it would have healed by itself."
Once, when I was parking my car overnight in Manila, I removed my stereo as...
No Valuables
Once, when I was parking my car overnight in Manila, I removed my stereo as a precaution against theft. I also left a blodly written sign in the window saying:
"No radio, no valuables,nothing in trunk."
The next morning, I found the window broken. Scribbled on my sign were the words: "Just checking."
During a visit to our friend's home in Canada, we were feted with a...
Smaller Pancakes
During a visit to our friend's home in Canada, we were feted with a wonderful breakfast. But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.
"Your pancakes are smaller than my mum's," she told him.
My friend replied, "Well, that's because of the exchange rate."
My surly boss was asked if his daughter looked like her mum.""Yes, she's...
Looked Like Her Mum
My surly boss was asked if his daughter looked like her mum.
""Yes, she's got her mother's smile," he replied. "Because, as you know, I don't have one."
